The serpent and the dove

This week, a friend of mine got into trouble. Big trouble. This is the kind of thing that involves federal agents, potential prison time, and national headlines beginning “One of the largest ever…”.

The news portrays a heartless criminal that is impossible for me to reconcile with the friend and loving family man that I know. There is an insurmountable chasm between the buddy that I embrace when we see each other and the con man described on television.

It makes me angry to listen to news anchors brag about the shrewdness of their investigative reporting while they mispronounce his name. Doesn’t this type of story merit learning someone’s name before airing a broadcast? Why is our media so quick to share sordid details, but absent when it comes to helping us meet the man behind the story?

My experiences are so different from the headlines. The conflicting images are confusing and the brokenness in this world makes me profoundly sad.

There are other examples where stories seem incompatible with the people in them. Friends that have been married for decades divorce amid accusations from both sides that are hurtful and hateful. None of it matches the loving people I am proud to have in my life.

Another good friend of mine is tormented by addiction. It is an angry demon that devours his relationships, destroys his livelihood, and threatens his life. Google shares stories and pictures that can’t be the same quiet, humble person that I shared a holiday dinner with.

It seems impossible.

When my friends or family stand accused, my first response is to deny any possibility that these things are true. As time slips by, it becomes easier to believe there is truth in the charges. After all, I am guilty of so many things that they must be also.

The world judges people from a few isolated facts that do not tell the story of a complicated life. “Innocent” and “Guilty” are the only choices offered to a world that is seldom black or white. The pressure to pick a side is intense while lives are crushed in the middle.

Sitting as judge is exhausting. The burden of weighing accusations against defenses is more than I can bear. The few facts that can be proven or disproven stand so small compared to the souls I have come to love and that my savior valued above his own life.

I do not want to be naive or turn a blind eye and enable bad things to happen. I recognize the need to be vigilant but still embrace my neighbors. In Matthew 10:16, Jesus told us to “be as shrewd as serpents and as innocent as doves.” Simple words that are hard to live by.

No one lives blamelessly. Even the apostle Paul was confused by his own actions (read here for that). It is easy to listen to Perfect Paul who writes the New Testament but would we have accepted him the same way while being rocked by news of his failures?

When accusations shock me, only God can allow me to see people the way he does. While I project my guilt onto others, He projects his perfect love onto each of us. He sees our ultimate potential whether we are fighting or dancing. That’s how I want to see people, too.

My friend may or may not be innocent of everything he is accused of, but God will have to be his judge because I will not. Instead, I choose simply to be his friend and hope that he believes I will stand by him regardless of the circumstances.

In this season, he needs me to be his friend more than ever, but I’m afraid I’ll disappoint him.

When writing a blog post, I can write, re-write and polish my words until they meet my approval. In real life, I get one shot and frequently say foolish things. I am painfully aware of my inadequacy. My actions are often inconsistent with the man I want to become.

Hopefully, he will judge me by the aspirations of my heart and not the limitations of my humanity.

That is what I will do for him.

The picture of the serpent and dove is from the Lichfield Cathedral in Lichfield, Staffordshire, England