Ding-ding-ding. The mechanical chirping of our Ring doorbell announced a visitor. I opened the door to find a very nervous young man standing on my porch holding a bottle of 12-year, single malt Scotch. He spoke as soon as the door opened.
“Do you have a few minutes to talk?”
“Absolutely. Come in.” I told him.
Josh had been dating Erin for just over two years. In a close-knit family, he was a regular appearance at Sunday lunch or Friday’s at Chili’s. However, he never came alone and he certainly didn’t bring top-shelf whiskey.
He settled onto the couch while Kim and I took our places in our recliners. When he launched into his prepared speech, he quickly found that practicing a thing and doing it are two very different experiences.
He told us that he wanted to propose to Erin and that he would like to ask for our blessing. Then he paused.
I said nothing.
Josh then continued by giving us an overview of their time together. He told us that he loved her very much and that she made him happier than he had ever been before. He went into detail about why he believed the timing was right for this next step and how he had spent the last seasons preparing himself.
He made a good case, but I still didn’t say anything. When Kim later asked why I kept making him squirm, I told her that it wasn’t my job to make this easy for him.
I wasn’t trying to be mean, but he had come to ask my permission to take my place as the most important man in my daughter’s life. I have always been there for her and would do anything for my little girl. If he hoped for me to surrender that privilege to him, he would need to bring his very best, and I would not interrupt him.
At this point, he seemed to be at the end of his prepared statement and went off-script. When he did, the real emotion came out. You could see on his face and hear in his voice that he would do anything for this love of his life. He wanted desperately to make her happy and share forever with her.
Then he was finished.
It was my turn. “If you want my blessing, you need to make three promises to me. First, will you love God and love her all of your life.”
In words long and short, he said that he would.
“Second, will you protect and defend her at any cost to yourself?”
He assured Kim and I that he would.
“Third, will you provide for her and your family together, ensuring your basic needs are met, regardless of the difficulty?”
Again, he said that he would and I told him that he had my blessing. Kim agreed.
As the color returned to his face, he told us about his plan to propose to her on the beach in a couple of weeks and reviewed all of the details he had laid out. It was a good plan and we told him so.
We sealed the agreement with a toast and he went on his way, breathing much easier than when he had arrived.
From the pictures, you can tell that his plan was a great success. Our family is growing again, and he is a welcome addition. He will be the perfect husband for her.
As for me, I am suddenly staring at two engaged children. It’s all happened fast, and I may need another drink to settle down. It was a good gift choice from my new son.
Josh fulfilled his obligation to us by asking for our blessing and I promised it to him. After several days I realized that I hadn’t actually given it to him. I only told him that he had it. I believe in the power of the spoken word of a man of faith. I believe that the very spirit of God speaks through us and that his word is eternal.
Without any further hesitation, Josh, here is my blessing to you.
Josh and Erin, I pray for God’s favor to rest on your union as he grants you long lives that are full of peace and joy, and that he multiplies you greatly.
For days beyond measure, you will find your lovestruck reflections in each other’s eyes.
As the challenges of this life inevitably find you, your response will demonstrate to the world the depth of your love. Your marriage will strengthen your community as the Father’s blessings flow through you and into others’ lives as easily as water flows down a lazy river.
I am excited for the young couple, but the life change is looming large over me. I have to let go of my role as first responder and build up another man to take that role. May God guide me through that transition.
Kim and Erin have a wedding to plan.
Subscribe
Connect with
I allow to create an account
When you login first time using a Social Login button, we collect your account public profile information shared by Social Login provider, based on your privacy settings. We also get your email address to automatically create an account for you in our website. Once your account is created, you'll be logged-in to this account.
DisagreeAgree
I allow to create an account
When you login first time using a Social Login button, we collect your account public profile information shared by Social Login provider, based on your privacy settings. We also get your email address to automatically create an account for you in our website. Once your account is created, you'll be logged-in to this account.
DisagreeAgree
5 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Eric D
5 years ago
Congratulations! Very cool story!
Richard Gartner
5 years ago
Wow what a summer! Congratulations!
Ted Kirby
5 years ago
Awesome new Jimmy & Kim. May God continue to watch over your growing family.
Randi Wall
5 years ago
Beautiful!
Kelly
5 years ago
Love this so much!! Congrats and so love the intentionality you're giving this season as well as sharing your thoughts and actions…❤
If you read my last post, this picks up where it ended. If you didn't, click here to read it. Back to the Beginning. Admitting that I had failed Him in my participation in our group brought a sting. However once I began to move past that a level of excitement started...
I am part of a men's group that is an extension of our church. We've been meeting since, wow I don't even know, probably a decade now. But lately, something hasn't been right. This band of brothers has been a rock for me over the years. We have collectively been...
Hi. My name is Jimmy, and I'm a neophobe. I'll pause for a moment while you say "Hi, Jimmy." A neophobe is someone who is afraid of anything new. I have a mild form of this disorder, where I avoid trying new things or breaking...
He settled onto the couch while Kim and I took our places in our recliners. When he launched into his prepared speech, he quickly found that practicing a thing and doing it are two very different experiences.
I wasn’t trying to be mean, but he had come to ask my permission to take my place as the most important man in my daughter’s life. I have always been there for her and would do anything for my little girl. If he hoped for me to surrender that privilege to him, he would need to bring his very best, and I would not interrupt him.
Congratulations! Very cool story!
Wow what a summer! Congratulations!
Awesome new Jimmy & Kim. May God continue to watch over your growing family.
Beautiful!
Love this so much!! Congrats and so love the intentionality you're giving this season as well as sharing your thoughts and actions…❤