I have ADHD. It’s not necessarily like what most people imagine it to be. It is more than being easily distracted.
Because of the “AD” part, there are always different, competing thoughts swirling through my head and it can be very difficult to focus on just one of them.
The “H” part makes it hard to sit still. I tend to fidget restlessly because somehow it helps me to find focus. Sitting still can feel restrictive and stifling.
If you don’t deal with this, imagine being confined to a small chair with televisions surrounding all of your vision. You try to pay attention to what is playing on a particular screen, but each television is loudly playing something different. The longer you are required to sit in the chair after the screens blend into cacophony, the more anxiety builds. Eventually you become numb and tune everything out.
Yesterday, I sat in a Leadership Development event at the main campus of our church. It is a very large venue and hosted close to a thousand people that day. Its goal was to share insight with the church’s leaders, to motivate them, and give a sense of shared purpose. It did not go like I thought it would.
From the beginning, the worship style was difficult for me. Usually when the instruments play and the singers begin, I close my eyes. That is my effort to block out all of the external and internal distractions. It requires a lot of focus to make things “quiet”. The louder the music plays and the more people press in on all sides, the harder it is to separate the worship from the competing noises.
Similarly, social interactions intended to be lighthearted and relaxing are a challenge. It is not easy for me to focus on a lot of new people in a group. Because I process information differently than most people, it takes me more time. I am easily distracted by the abundance of new inputs – what they are wearing, how they do their hair, how they carry themselves. Piecing together the litany of social cues requires concentration. Without taking the time to process the situation first, I just fake the conversation – trying to act like everyone else.
Breaking into groups with strangers to pray is hard. I believe that Jesus carries my requests into the throne room of God and petitions on my behalf. I consider my words carefully. Throwing out quick prayers for people I do not know is uncomfortable. I need more time to understand them and connect to their feelings first. It feels wrong to throw around words recklessly that I am asking my Savior to carry to the Father.
The last social activity was to share a word God was speaking to me. By this time, my anxiety had heightened. So many voices. So loud. I tried to block them out and hear the Spirit whisper to me, but I couldn’t focus. My brain screamed for quiet and the more I tried unsuccessfully to find it, the more anxiety I felt.
Fortunately, a friend noticed something was wrong and told me it was OK if I stepped away.
I left the event and walked out of the building. I found a quiet, shaded spot in a remote corner of the parking lot where I sat cross-legged under a tree. I closed my eyes and focused on quieting the noise. Gradually, everything subsided.
As peace came back to me, my thoughts were drawn back into the worship center. All of the people who were there, motivated by the setting, drawn into the moment. They genuinely enjoyed the morning.
And suddenly I felt very different from everyone else. I realized that I would never belong there with them. I was aware of God’s love but wished I could be like everybody else, sharing the rapturous moments with them.
The feeling of isolation is familiar. It is the same feeling I have in large groups at work. It is the same feeling I get at family gatherings when the group grows very large. The more people, the louder it gets, the harder it becomes to connect. When I can no longer process everything going on around me, I begin to drift alone.
I hoped it would get better as I’ve gotten older. In some ways it has. Coping is easier. Avoiding certain situations is more automatic. But in other ways, my sensitivity seems to be heightening.
There is no danger that I will give up and walk away from the people I care about. However it will take me time to consider how I can be a leader in my church family. I will have to find a way to be at peace with them the same way I can be at peace alone with God.
There are others like me who connect differently. God will place them in my path, but probably not at these large gatherings.
Last, I have to remember that He created me this way – not by accident but with a plan. I am not alone because He is always there, and He surrounds me with people who love me. My ideal settings are different from other people, but that is OK. He made me this way for a reason. Instead of feeling outcast, I will focus on feeling unique and special while helping others to experience it also.
And maybe at the next gathering, I will search for a different way ahead of time. 🙂
Tithing has been one of the most frustrating and misunderstood concepts in my walk with Christ. This article is my effort to provide Biblical interpretation of the tithe and how it applies to us today.
What Is a Tithe?
Throughout the Bible, tithing is mentioned as a 10% gift given to God. In a non-profit charity, our gifts are considered a donation. Tithing is more than that, it is a way of using what we have been given to establish His kingdom on earth.
In the original Hebrew, “Ma’aser” when was used discussing what we now call the tithe. It literally meant “tenth part”. There are several places in the Bible that call it out as 10%. In our current language, the original Old English word used was “teogotha”, which means tenth. Teogotha was modified into the current word “Tithe” which still means tenth.
Biblical Guidance for Tithe
Pre-Moses Both Abraham (Gen 14:17-20) and Jacob (Gen 28:10-22) practiced the tithe. Abraham’s example was given from spoils of war and Jacob’s was given from “all that you give me.” There wasn’t any written command that guided them, the tithe seems to have been an expression of their hearts.
Torah (Law given through Moses) Moses provided written instruction on tithing as the basis of giving under Judaic law. He spelled out the detail in Leviticus, Numbers, and Deuteronomy. He distinguished between three unique and separate types of tithing (more to follow on those).
New Testament In Christ, we are no longer held under the law (Gal 5:16-18). Our salvation is not based on adherence to Torah law. However, tithing is not obsolete . Jesus did not come to make the Torah irrelevant, but to fulfill it (Matt 5:17-20). He even encouraged the Pharisees to adhere to the tithe (Matt 23:23).
Paul’s later guidance focused more on giving in general (1 Cor 16:1-4) but he never replaced tithing with another teaching (such as Jesus did with eating unclean food or Paul did with circumcision).
What Are the Three Different Tithes?
First Tithe (Ma’aser Rishon) – Tithe for the Levites
When God set apart the Levites apart to serve Him (Num 8:5-19), they lost their inheritance of property in the Promised Land. To ensure they were provided for, He established the First Tithe (Num 18:21-24) to meet their needs. The people of Israel paid these tithes to their local synagogues (Neh 10:34-39) who in turn carried their portion of that tithe to the Temple in Jerusalem.
As their economy was predominantly agrarian, many of the tithes were grain, oil, and other food products. These tithes were delivered after the harvest and consumed by the Levites over the course of the year. They were held in storehouses (see previous link from Nehemiah). References about bringing tithes to the storehouse indicate the First Tithe.
Second Tithe (Ma’aser Sheni) – Tithe for Rejoicing
Before Moses surrendered leadership of Israel to Joshua and they crossed the Jordan to take their inheritance, he delivered a series of teachings that are captured in Deuteronomy. He reminded them of their identity in God, the law they were to follow, and to serve God with a fierce passion that exceeded all others (Deut 6:4).
Jesus later reinforced that passion for God as the greatest of all the commandments (Matt 22:34-40). The second tithe is a celebration of that love (Deut 14:22-27). The people of Israel were instructed to set aside a tenth of what was left after the First Tithe to use to travel to Jerusalem for the three annual holy festivals.
They could spend it any way they chose – food, drink, clothing, or just fun. They were encouraged to share it with others who did not have the means to do the same otherwise. There were no real restrictions other than it was to be used during the festivals, not at other times or places (Deut 16:16-17)
The Second Tithe differed from the First Tithe because it was not applied to every year. Of the seven year cycle they observed, the Second Tithe was only to be collected in Years 1 and 2, then again in Years 3 and 4.
This tithe has shifted in form since the destruction of the Temple and the great distance many people of faith live from Jerusalem. In Jewish faith the form may have varied, but the income is still considered sacred and not to be used for other purpose.
Third Tithe (Ma’aser Ani) – Tithe for the Poor
After he laid out instruction for the second tithe, Moses immediately pivoted to lay out the Third Tithe (Deut 14:28-29). This gift was to be shared with others – the foreigners, fatherless, widows, Levites, etc. People were free to use this however they chose.
The third tithe was not given to the synagogue as the First Tithe or used in Jerusalem as the Second Tithe. It was a personal choice to be shared in each local community when and how they saw fit to help the poor to “eat and be satisfied”.
The Third Tithe was also not due every year. It was to be collected from income every third year of the seven year cycle – Years 3 and 6.
Second Tithe – The Three Holy Festivals
The Second Tithe was specifically to be used when travelling to Jerusalem for the three holy festivals.
Passover – Pesach Celebrates the Israelites liberation from slavery in Egypt with a special meal called Seder. Bread made with yeast was forbidden, a reminder to the Israelites that they had to be ready to leave Egypt at a moment’s notice, without time for bread to rise. They ate bitter herbs to remind them their ancestors experienced oppression as slaves.
Their food was dipped twice before being eaten – once in saltwater representative of their tears and once in sweet haroset to remind them there is sweetness in bitter times.
Last, the Seder was eaten from a reclining position (most meals were eaten seated). This represented the transformation from slaves to royalty.
Passover typically precedes Easter by a week.
Festival of Weeks – Shavout This holiday celebrated God revealing the Torah at Mt Sinai. It was held at harvest time fifty days after Passover. Dairy foods were popular as a parallel to the Promised Land that would flow with milk and honey.
The Festival of Weeks coincides with Pentecost whose name originated from the Greek “pentekoste” meaning “fiftieth”. It is the seventh Sunday after Easter.
Feast of Tabernacles – Sukkot Commemorates the Israelites 40-year journey through the wilderness living in temporary shelters. Tents or other temporary shelters were erected to sleep in at night while celebratory meals filled the days.
Sukkot falls in September/October.
Relevance
Each of the individual types of tithes speaks to a different part of our spiritual walk.
The first tithe represents adherence to our faith and belief – our regular walk with God and embracing the truths He has given to us.
The second tithe represents the spirit with which we worship. A carefree release of our treasure while we passionately pursue Him and celebrate everything He has done for us and promises to do for us.
The third tithe represents the authority He has given us on this earth to provide for each other. We are to share what He has given to us to meet our own needs and to do the same for others in an outreach of love.
What Do We Do With This?
Each form of tithe is more than a simple 10% gift to God. It is a three-faceted expression of our faith. None of the individual tithes are complete without the others. We need all of them for completeness in our walk with Him – unshakeable faith, boundless passion, and consuming love.
The Israelites built their budgets, schedules, and priorities around the three tithes, setting aside 20% of their income and the time to attend three festivals.
Rather than an obligation, the tithe is a chance to lean into the embrace of a God who loves us.
If you read my last post, this picks up where it ended. If you didn’t, click here to read it.
Back to the Beginning.
Admitting that I had failed Him in my participation in our group brought a sting. However once I began to move past that a level of excitement started building inside me. The cloud of confusion dissipated and a vision came into focus. If we were to go back to the beginning, I knew what needed to happen.
God has given me an ability to envision new things and then bring them into reality. Without effort, images of a new future emerge and I can see structure form around it. Actions to build those structures follow and names that meet the required skills burst into my mind at a rapid pace. Prioritizing the actions and seeing the first requisite steps immediately follows. My thoughts become obsessed with laying the initial groundwork and my hands busy themselves with the task.
My passions are ignited and I am able to accomplish a lot in a short time.
Kim has learned to recognize the signs that I am moving into this mental space and knows that I will be consumed while I bring the new future into the present. The world around me disappears and all I can think about is my new labor of love. I don’t care if I eat, my brain races during my waking hours as well as my dreams, and the people in my life accept that I have disappeared for a time.
It is a part of who I am.
So when I realized it was time to go Back to the Beginning, the whole process started automatically – what needed to happen, who was going to do what, and how I should lead.
I was ready to scorch the earth and begin rebuilding. Nothing was exempt as I prepared to clear the landscape.
That is when I could almost hear God chuckle as He said “Whoa there, Son of Thunder. My plans for you have not changed.”
This is a conversation we’ve had several times before. It is a reference to John, the brother of James and disciple of Jesus.
More importantly, it is how God sets my boundary lines when I race headlong into a new thing. This time, he clearly laid out what He is asking of me and where I am beyond my authority.
Here is the backstory to help understand His direction.
John had a fiery passion and impatience in bringing new things to life. He famously asked Jesus if He wanted him to destroy a village who did not embrace the Christ. John was ready to wipe out the old and begin building the new Kingdom on that spot. Right then. No waiting.
John didn’t see himself merely as an “idea guy”. He also requested that Jesus seat him at His right- or left-hand when he began His reign. He wasn’t seeking fame. He wanted the authority that came with the position. He was ready to make things happen.
Time and again Jesus described what was to come, and he had to contain John. Peter may have been the rock he would build his church on, and Paul may have articulated theology of the New Testament, but John was ready to begin the construction.
For reasons only He could know, Jesus had plans to transition John from a Son of Thunder into the Apostle of Love. It would be a difficult adjustment.
Throughout Jesus’ life on this earth, John was a firebrand. He is the only disciple who had the moxy to stand at Jesus’ feet while he was being crucified. He was the first to enter Jesus’ tomb while others hid in a locked room. These were acts of open defiance against the Jewish leaders and the entire Roman Empire, challenging them to take action. He was ready for a single word from Jesus to wipe everything away and he was first in line to help him rebuild.
Instead of unleashing the beast inside his disciple, Jesus used some of his final breaths to ask John to become a son to His mother, Mary, and to protect and care for her in his own home (John 19:24-27).
John must have known that he would spend decades on the sidelines, watching others establish the church and transform the world while he patiently cared for an aging lady.
Sometimes the boundaries that God sets for us are hard to accept.
For countless quiet evenings he sorted out his feelings while he sat at home with his surrogate mother, watching her knit for her grandchildren. He heard about other disciples traveling throughout the world spreading the Gospel while he patiently walked with her in the market, helping her to select the best figs because he knew her eyes were failing and her balance was unsteady.
During this long period of time, his heart was changing. The conversion was difficult and slow, but allowed him to emerge as the Apostle of Love.
He is called the Apostle of Love because he wrote more about love than any other New Testament author. The world learned how Jesus loved us from a fiery, defiant disciple who was taken off the field.
It was John who recorded Jesus as he said:
A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. (John 13:34)
It was John who preserved His next words:
By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another. (John 13:35)
And it was John who penned one of the most famous verses in the Bible.
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. (John 3:16)
In His perfect wisdom, God used a man who was ready to tear down the world and rebuild it to teach us that we would reflect the Savior if we simply learned to love people like He does.
I can imagine more than most what John felt like when Jesus asked him to stand down and serve Mary.
I wanted to build a nationwide ministry, teaching a different way to share Jesus by meeting physical needs.
Instead He told me to Build Neighbors and let anyone follow if they chose.
I made plans to market my books and blogs and teach countless people how they could improve their relationship with Him.
Instead He told me I could only write about my own experiences and what I learned.
Over the years our group has had several leaders step down, and I have wanted to jump at each new chance to nominate myself.
Instead he told me to print discussion guides for the one he chose to lead and to set the table for the group.
Now I stand ready to take charge at The New Beginning, to create a new group who raises Him high. I have a clear vision, strong passion, and high energy to take charge.
Instead He asked me to meet a friend for breakfast.
When I ask him to let me call down thunder, he tells me to stand down and love each one. When I have asked him to let me lead, he has asked me to serve.
Like He said, His plans for me have not changed and neither have my boundary lines.
What He has asked me to do seems impossible- meet with a group of guys who lost their focus on Jesus because they overvalued relationships and then show them how to focus on Jesus through brotherly love. It seems contradictory. May God grant me patience while I learn to do what He asks.
I have received my assignment and He reminded me of my boundaries. I was allowed to highlight our need to repent. I can walk with them and pick up any who fall down. I can be a full participant in the things that are to come, but I have not been granted authority to lead the change.
The old things have now passed away. We are ready to take our first steps into the New Beginning.
That leaves me with a lot of questions like these.
Who will take the first step?
Who will be called to lead our group?
What will our gatherings look like?
When should we start?
I don’t know any of these answers, but have faith that He will raise up someone for each of these.
If this post isn’t what you expected after the last one, then I can appreciate that. I had already completed my follow-up post laying out my vision, the timing and the responsibilities. It was difficult for me to delete it and accept His direction.
We are ready to enter something new. It is a time for change.
Please listen for His voice. Hear what He has planned for you to do in this season. Maybe He is asking you to step forward as the next leader. Maybe He is calling you to schedule our Beginning. Maybe He is giving you dreams of what we are to become.
He might be giving you a recurring task or maybe it is a one-time thing.
Possibly you haven’t heard anything from Him. You could schedule a prayer gathering to seek His direction.
Whatever the message is, and however large or small it may seem, you are part of His plan.
If He is calling you, it is possible that you are too busy right now. You may be afraid to lead into unknown territory. The timing might not work. You might not be ready. Maybe you just aren’t interested.
It is OK. The greatest beginnings seem to come from reluctant people.
