If you are a regular to this show, you know that both of my kids got engaged this summer. It has been a wild and wonderful season, full of excitement, romance, and a family that is rapidly growing.
James came out of the gate first with his proposal (actually, it was a security gate, and Morgan was the one coming out). Click here to watch that. Their original plan was to have a January 2021 wedding, but that seems to be getting sooner as Morgan finds James’s enthusiasm to be contagious. They are now talking about August 2020 in the Austin area. Stay tuned for updates.
Josh made a strong showing shortly afterward, proposing to Erin on the beach with candles, flowers, wine, and an heirloom ring (click here for that). They have picked a date. It’s March 14, 2020, and they will tie the knot in an outdoor ceremony at a local park.
My responsibilities in all this are pretty limited. For James’s big day, it’s very little. The father of the groom smiles for pictures. For Erin, my responsibilities are only slightly larger. After the pictures, the father of the bride sits silently in the background mumbling about the cost.
Having reconciled myself to a bit of boredom next season while the real work of planning and coordinating a wedding was done by the women in my life, I settled in and started looking for my next project.
Sure, I could help out, but weddings are weird. Costumed bridesmaids and groomsmen face off against each other while the bride hides her face. The groom nervously tries to repeat simple phrases accurately. The families sit on opposing sides of the room during an event intended to bring them together. Tiny food gets served, people who shouldn’t dance do anyway, and the happy couple is left to sort through piles of duplicate gifts.
I was already wondering what my woodworking tools and I would get into next.
My father and I joke about which of us was less involved in our own wedding preparations. We think it’s funny, but at the same time, I hope that my daughter marries someone who gets into the spirit. If half of all marriages end unsuccessfully, maybe this world needs more husbands who treasure their vows and are excited to show the world.
And maybe more of us fathers should lead by example.
What if I broke with tradition? What if I threw myself excitedly into the process? What if this day of celebration had my fingerprints on more than my wallet?
My immediate focus is on Erin since that event comes first. Stick around, though. We’ll get to Morgan sooner rather than later.
A wedding ceremony is a big deal for Erin, but it is more than just her “perfect day.” It is also important to her and Josh’s neighbors and families. The kiss and the cake announce to everyone that two lives have become one and a family has been born. While they make vows to each other, the rest of us can make our vows to support and encourage them.
Years of First Fruits taught me a lot of lessons. One of my favorites is that the work done at an event is important, but is of secondary importance. Events are mainly about people coming together in a wonderful embrace, demonstrating that we are never alone. God shows up in a big way when we come together to lift him and each other up. His presence and blessing are tangible on those days.
That should be extra true for a wedding.
I want to help Erin & Josh’s wedding to be an inclusive celebration, not one where everybody sits on a hard chair and watches mindlessly. I want to help inspire a day when neighbors engage in their lives. Some people may want to do that by helping with preparations. For others, it will mean filling the pavilion with love and laughter. Each of us has something unique to share.
Erin and Josh will become a blessing to their community, and their wedding will be a chance for people to prophetically speak that over them.
Life is for living, and I have no intention to sit on the sidelines. Sure, I am not a wedding planner. I have no taste in what looks nice, don’t understand how to create a theme, can’t remember what a ceremony should include, and haven’t even got-a-guy who rents chairs. God did give me an ability to bring people together though, and I’m going to use the gifts I do have to their full potential.
Maybe Kim and Erin will even let me build something.
I don’t have to understand everything that goes on during a wedding, but I can certainly stay focused on why it’s important.
Let’s get started. My little girl is getting married!
P.S.
P
March 14 is Pi Day (3.14, get it?) and I hope that Pi Day means Pie Day. I really, really love pie. Should my first act as a newly self-appointed Wedding Planner be to proclaim a pie on every table?
I also share your enthusiasm for pie!