The 2020 Wedding

It only could have happened in 2020.

On the off chance that someone picks up this post thirty years from now and reads it, they will never be able to fully appreciate that introduction. It will be like a funny story that you tell a friend who just stares back at you when they should be laughing along. No matter how hard you try to explain, they just don’t get it. In an act of final desperation, you exclaim “I guess you had to be there.” To my future readers, I apologize in advance.

Cheryl moved to Chattanooga last summer to be closer to her grandkids. Her new home was four houses down from my Dad, but their paths never crossed until this February. In an effort to get out of the house and meet some people, she begrudgingly went to a get-together sponsored by the Home Owner’s Association at the community clubhouse.

As corny as it sounds, my Dad met Cheryl at a Valentine’s Day party.

After they’d been introduced, they each noticed the other driving home or taking a walk and made it a point to strike up a conversation. The conversations turned into a dinner invitation or a shared on-line movie.

Then COVID-19 struck.

Instead of creating isolation, the weeks-turned-months of The Lockdown gave them the chance to spend unlimited time together. They realized all the things they had in common, found that they enjoyed each other’s company, and…you knew where this was going from the Valentine’s Day reference, right?

They boldly set July 4th as their wedding date. Potential virus exposure made it a family-only event. They planned a simple ceremony and everything was progressing well until The Spike. The first victim was me and my family. With Texas lit up like a big ol’ coronavirus candle, we had to stay home.

My sister Kelly’s daughter contracted a fever the afternoon before the wedding. I remember when a kid with a low-grade fever was no big deal. In 2020, it is like finding out that you are about to spontaneously combust. Michal will get her COVID screen at the first available appointment, which will be most of a week after the fever that only lasted two hours. For now, she is locked away like Rapunzel. Kelly and her other two daughters drove to the wedding anyway, but wore masks and lurked in the shadows.

The twenty-five minute ceremony was held in a beautiful spot on the bank of the Tennessee River (a hundred yards from Dad’s house) and broadcast on Facebook Live. The minister kept a seven-foot social distance from the bride and groom. The families fanned out as if the wind had blown them, requiring each camera shot to take several seconds to slowly pan the small but scattered crowd.

Preston’s grand-daughter was adorable as she struggled with the bubble shooter before finally aiming and successfully firing at her toes. Cheryl’s family played a song beautifully on the violin and guitar, Kelly’s daughter sang her song wonderfully, and I blessed the happy couple with a closing prayer that was broadcast via a Bluetooth speaker (since I was 800 miles away).

Pictures were taken after the ceremony with people careful not to touch each other and some smiles hidden underneath the masks that were worn in an abundance of caution.

The irregularities may have been newsworthy in a different time, but in 2020 nobody noticed a thing.

The unusual wedding may not be most people’s ideal, but it was Cheryl and Dad’s blessing. Most people will remember 2020 as the year they were cut off from everyone. Cheryl and Jim will remember it as the year they were brought together. Most people will recall 2020 with a shudder because they couldn’t do anything they wanted. Cheryl and Jim will remember it as the year they were never interrupted. Most people will reflect on 2020 as a year that couldn’t end soon enough. Cheryl and Jim will remember it as a season they hope never ends.

When I tell people about the wedding, I get one of two responses. The first response is to laugh that someone would try to hold a wedding in the middle of a pandemic. The second response is surprise that anyone would remarry in their seventies.

I’m proud of my father and his new wife. They knew the ceremony would be nontraditional. They also knew they would have to release decades worth of habits as they build a new life together. That takes courage.

In his new house, Dad probably won’t be able to find his phone charger or know where to put laundry away. It will be weeks before he figures out where to put his rowing machine and even longer before he adjusts to his trusty, green recliner being gone. Cheryl cleared out space in her home after her decorator had just finished. She gave up half her drawers and closet space. Wow!

Each of them let go of the parts of their past that stood in the way of embracing their dreams in the future.

God has good plans for all of us, but they are scary sometimes. We have to let go of preferences and the ideas of “how things are supposed to be” and have faith that He has something even better for us.

So much gloom has hung over the past months. Stay-in-place orders, shutdowns of businesses, remote-only worship services, record unemployment rates, and the looming specter that schools may not open for the fall. Too many days, Kim and I have looked at each other and asked what we want to do tonight only to shrug apathetically and respond that we feel “Meh”.

It is time to dream again. It is time to believe that God has Jeremiah 29:11 visions for each of us and that he will unveil them if we continue to ask. When we have doubts, may God open our eyes.

When I needed hope, God gave me something better than a hillside full of warriors. He showed me my dad, whose open eyes were able to focus on the prize without being distracted by the events that surrounded him. Regardless of all the “only in 2020” moments captured in each picture’s background, every image shows him focused on the life and love that God placed in front of him

I am so lucky to have a dad whose love eclipses his comfort. I am thankful that his hope is bigger than his fear. And he was favored to find a woman just as noble.

Congratulations, Cheryl and Dad. May you have long lives together, filled with love and joy. Thank you for continuing to demonstrate how to live a kingdom life.