It has been two weeks since my last post, “Be Still or Prep?” I was true to my word, waiting and listening. The more that I saw people rushing frantically, worried about their situation, the more my answer was revealed. The familiar call to action never came. Instead, a sense of peace settled over me.
It was as if God was saying, “I got this. Relax.” So I determined that this season would not be about me. As the whole world seemed to catch on fire, my heart went out to those who are least able to defend themselves from the disease and chaos.
Dark forces retaliated quickly, unwilling to release their hold on my attention.
I made a phone call to a woman that is a friend to Kim and me. She is over seventy, on dialysis, and lives alone. She is the most vulnerable demographic for COVID-19. When she answered her phone, I asked her if there was anything I could help her with. Her answer hit at the heart of whether or not I was willing to have faith in God to provide for me.
She said, “I’m doing pretty well, but I sure do need some toilet paper.”
There was no toilet paper in any store in the state. All I could do was give her a significant portion of what we had. Trusting God with my toilet paper was never a thought that had crossed my mind, but confronted me now.
God asked me, “Do you trust me to provide?”
Along with most of the city, I am now working from home. I miss my friends at work and the energy and excitement we share. My nice office has been replaced by a roughly converted extra space at the house. I am isolated and the chair makes my butt hurt.
And He asked, “Am I enough?”
Shortly after, a criminal gained access to Kim’s name, phone number, social security number, bank user name, and bank password. Suddenly, I was unable to fall back on my faith in my finances. We responded quickly and shut everything down, but it left us without checks, debit cards, or credit cards. For more than a week, we had money, but no access.
God asked, “Do you trust me more than your bank accounts?”
Two days later, we awoke to a text message from James. He was a little more than an hour away in Waxahachie, TX at the Emergency Room. He had severe abdominal and lower back pain accompanied by blood in his urine. We raced to get ready and drive to the hospital. As we pulled into the hospital parking lot, he texted us again to advise that he had his first kidney stone.
Almost before we could work through James’s situation, Erin called crying because she felt so sick. Two hours later, she was at RapidMed being treated for an upper respiratory infection. She was placed under strict quarantine. With compromised lung function, she was suddenly a high-risk candidate if she became infected with COVID-19.
“Do you trust me with your health and family?”
The next day, Kim’s boss called to tell her that her last day of employment would be the end of the week.
“Do you trust me?”
Almost to my own surprise, I do trust Him. Not just in that way you say out loud hoping it will be true, but I am genuinely at peace. He’s got this. Come what may, I would rather have God than my stuff, my money, my health, or my income. I am thankful that he took the time to let me see that.
My thoughts are now turning to my community. Friends are losing their jobs quickly. This past week saw the highest number of jobless claims in U.S. history. It is hard to fathom 3,300,000 Americans filing an initial claim in a single week when previous disasters saw one-fifth of that. The pending economic challenges are real, and they are going to be with us for a while.
No stimulus package alone will meet the needs in my community. God is giving us a chance to stand together, helping each other. A time that has been marked by divisiveness can become a season of unity as we realize that our spiritual gifts and material blessings were meant to be shared. I need to give to and receive from my neighbors.
In January, I posted that I would not make a budget, and I haven’t (click here to read) Without a clear calling, I have waited for God to speak life into my year. He has spoken now. The call for social distancing is an equal call for hearts to come together. I have a chance. We all have a chance.
For the first time in months, I sat down and started the familiar exercises, running spreadsheets, organizing my spending, looking for ways to set aside money in pursuit of my dream. I want to love my neighbor by using what I have been given to meet their needs.
I have chosen to partner with the Salvation Army. Their battle is for the soul, providing relief without discrimination. My friends serve there and I am connected to their ministry.
When they serve lunch to the community with people standing six feet apart in lines that extend around the block, I will stand by their side spiritually when I cannot physically. My savior says that the actions for the most vulnerable were actually done for him, I will race to meet His need.
I asked for 2020 to have a purpose. I have received my answer. It is time to make a difference.
God, please guard my heart. Continue to ask me, “Do you trust me?” Strengthen me when I am weak, and may the light of your love shine brightly in my path.
