Building a Better Boat

2021 is already fading into the mist of remembrance, conjuring the same mixed emotions as the years that preceded it.

As the highlight reel flickers in my mind, it resurrects memories of the events of the past 365 days. There are moments that I wished would last forever. Other experiences haunted my days.

The week between Christmas and New Year is contemplative at our house. While we prepare our 2022 Goals, we also make preparations for 2021’s funeral.

• Which past events do we want to use as building blocks for the coming seasons?

• Equally importantly, what parts of the past year need to be properly buried and left in the past?

While I carefully untangle my emotions and try to be objective in my assessments, my hands stay busy building the vessel that will carry away the unwanted items, burning brightly as our lists are consumed by the flames.

It’s boat building time!

Every year, James laughingly tells me that my boats get bigger each year. He is right, but bigger isn’t the goal, they need to be better. If this boat is a reflection of my life, hopefully it improves as I continue to grow as well.

The first year was a plank that we ignited with a match. Then came a floating box doused in lighter fluid that we lit with a crude torch. Eventually, a Viking longboat emerged. The next bier was ignited with flaming arrows (Nerf darts). Last year, shields heralding my ancestral Scottish roots hung next to the oars as I contemplated my role in the circle of life.

What will this year add?

The cedar boards are in the garage ready to be cut and sanded. Blueprints for construction have been printed and were ultimately discarded in favor of “winging it”. Lastly, the pièce de résistance has been formulating in my mind.

However, 2021 wasn’t done yet. It was holding another surprise. A hand injury will prevent me from constructing my vessel.

When someone needed to rise to the occasion, James jumped at the chance. Ready or not, I have handed down my title as Chief Ship Buiilder to him.

“Generations” has been a central theme for me this past year, and it seems to be gaining speed. An event that began as an effort to raise my daughter free of anger and guilt is being passed on to the younger generation to carry forward when I cannot.

With my obligations limited and time suddenly available, I sat down to build my list of things to leave behind. The first few came pretty quickly, then took longer to formulate. It was the basics – forgiveness of offenses, angers to release, striving instead of accepting God’s path, and bad habits to abandon.

Looking back over my list, it seemed all too familiar. Although the details were different, the same types of items had been included in previous years. Laying down my pen and paper, I stopped to think about how my current situation compared to previous years.

I am trying to grow as a Christ-follower, but if I am continuing to deal with the same issues, am I really moving forward?

If I am struggling with the same things each year, am I making progress in my personal journey?

King Solomon was the wisest man of his time. For all of his insight and knowledge, he mourned the repetitive cycle of life in the first chapter of Ecclesiastes.

³ What do people gain from all their labors
    at which they toil under the sun?
⁴ Generations come and generations go,
    but the earth remains forever.
⁵ The sun rises and the sun sets,
    and hurries back to where it rises.
⁶ The wind blows to the south
    and turns to the north;
round and round it goes,
    ever returning on its course.
⁷ All streams flow into the sea,
    yet the sea is never full.
To the place the streams come from,
    there they return again.
⁸ All things are wearisome,
    more than one can say.

For all of his legendary wisdom and riches, Solomon was no more able to break his chain of events than me. So maybe we were both looking at things in the wrong way,

My list of things to bury might look shockingly similar to previous years, but it doesn’t matter how far I’ve come. All that matters is how I deal with the moment I am in today.

Right here, right now, am I doing the best I can – the best to forgive, the best to release anger, the best to serve and love my heavenly father?

Just because things look familiar, it doesn’t mean I’m not moving forward. It is merely part of the cyclical nature of this life.

Solomon built extraordinary castles, a kingdom, and a temple even though he knew they would not last. He did it to thank God for what he had been given and to provide an example to the next generation to do the same thing.

So I will smile when the sun sets on New Year’s Eve and bury again the same things I have buried before. It’s OK.

May next year be the best one yet.