The holidays are coming! I’m looking forward to having a full house again. Holiday traditions are probably my favorite ones.
Starting in November, our family regularly watches classic holiday movies and the new classics also. Before or after the big meals, we favor throwing frisbee instead of football. We skip Black Friday shopping in favor of Shootin’ and Pie Day and usually wear t-shirts emblazoned with a target and pie slice.
We grill steak and refer to it as our Christmas ham. We stage an annual, elaborate disagreement about whether to open presents on Christmas Eve or Day. Before opening the gifts, we remove all of them from under the tree then obsessively stack them into neat piles for each person.
We close out the year building a funeral pyre that floats in the pool and brightly burns lists of things we need to bury in the past. Then we make our list of wishes for the coming year.
When “outsiders” join us, we excitedly explain our traditions to a gallery of confused faces.
Everybody has their own, unique way of celebrating. Like the Peanuts characters in the holiday show, we hold tightly to the traditions that remind us where we come from. For a few magical days each year, we know that we belong together.
During family gatherings, we frequently revert to the roles we held in days gone by. The youngest child is treated carefully, no matter how old he or she may be. Mom and Dad still cast the deciding vote, even though generations may have multiplied. Some of these roles are healthy, others aren’t.
Whether we are sharing time with family, friends or coworkers, the results can be the same. Rivalries are too often rekindled and old hurts can feel new again. It’s hard to avoid.
The familiarity of the characters in holiday movies provide comfort, but their endless, unchanging loop shouldn’t apply to my life. This time I want to play a different role.
I love Buddy the Elf, but instead of conforming to the spirit of the holidays, I want to be intentional about connecting with each person.
One at a time, I want to celebrate the different people in my life by letting them know why they are special. Not just special to me, but special in all the glorious ways God created them.
Most years I relate to Cousin Eddie. I come off as awkward and don’t want people to find out how many problems I really have. Nobody should feel embarrassed about the challenges they have faced in the past year or worry about how other people will judge their responses. Instead, they should find acceptance and sympathy.
Scrooge was only consistently generous in handing out unwanted advice. My new character will be an encourager instead. My Christmas wish is that people would remember me for finding a spark within them and fanning it into a flame.
When things inevitably get crazy, I don’t want to wish everyone would disappear, like the Home Alone kid. Instead, I want to lean in. I want to be the person that you seek out when you want a spellbound audience. I want to be a friend who can see your success before it ever happens.
My favorite character is the lovably well-intentioned Clark Griswold, constantly worrying when traditions never play out quite right. Instead, I want to relax and remember that the best stories are born from the years that don’t work out as planned.
As my focus shifts to building other people up, some of our traditions probably won’t come off right either. If anyone is disappointed, I apologize in advance.
I love traditions. But more importantly, I love the people they are shared with, hope they can feel that love, and have faith in our future together.
Maybe Hollywood hasn’t created the perfect character meant just for me. That’s OK.
I hope you find your character, too.
Happy holidays, everybody.
