A thankful heart

Holidays never seem to last long enough.

It’s already been a week since we had a great Thanksgiving. Erin put together a vegetarian spread that was awesome, and we chose to supplement it with a melt-in-your-mouth brisket and skipped the turkey altogether. The five of us had a great meal, a good time, and naps abounded afterward.

Kim handed out cards for us to write down things we were thankful for. We passed them around like gifts and read them out loud. The newlyweds were thankful for each other, as they should be. Kim shared the usual mom stuff. James and I were kind of all over the board with our lists. We are all truly blessed, and it is easy to feel that way on a special day like that.

Thankfulness lies at the heart of Christianity. Accepting God’s grace creates an attitude of thankfulness that follows you throughout your day. Every morning, I try to start out my prayer with a moment of thanksgiving to start my day off right.

However, on some days I just can’t find it in me to be thankful.

In general, I am a morning guy. I don’t hit “snooze” and hope for an extra ten minutes. I like to get out of bed and enjoy a hot cup of coffee while contemplating the great things the day will hold.  Being thankful should come automatically.

But many times it doesn’t. As I stare at the bottom of my coffee cup, my heart can feel just as empty. Kim has patiently endured countless tirades while I prepare for work. The potential causes are endless. The kids are on my nerves. Work assignments landed on my desk that shouldn’t have. I feel sick or sore. Friends act in ways that continue to invite trouble.

Listening to myself, I know how my tantrums sound. In defiance of a remarkably blessed life, complaints erupt like a geyser. I pout like a spoiled child. Indulging these feelings doesn’t make them go away, but neither does ignoring them.

A couple of mornings ago, I was on a roll. The more I complained, the longer my list of grievances became. With each item that added to the list, the angrier I got. As I walked out the door to go to work, I was a mess.

Some days, I listen to praise music and my frustrations are drowned out. Not this time. I felt like Eeyore with a rain cloud hovering over me. So much was unfair and it demanded a response.

Then I remembered a passage from my devotional that morning.