The Changing Me

When I was an emerging adolescent, sex was one of those things nobody talked about in my house. My parents approached the subject with a Victorian-era level of modesty that extended from activities to anatomy. It was don’t ask and don’t tell.

At some point in junior high school, the changes to my body became impossible to ignore. First, my voice changed. It wasn’t like a butterfly emerging from a cocoon. It introduced a long, messy period when people laughed at my awkwardness. Second, I slowly started to get taller. Last, pimples popped up. It was a mess.

Instead of initiating a direct discussion, my folks planted a copy of The Changing Me where they knew I would find it. Over the coming months, I spent afternoons reading through it. As any honest man would admit, I wasn’t really hoping for education as much as a cheap thrill, but regardless of the viewing angle, the sketches reflected the same level of modesty that had led my mother to select the book in the first place.

When I had enough of it, Preston inherited the copy. I expect his experience was much the same as my own. A generation later, I bought a copy for James. By that time, it was a family joke. Any reference James made to physical growth would end up with us handing him his copy of The Changing Me and telling him to read all the chapters, not just to look at the pictures. Ask him about it, please.

Forty years later, I am dealing with enormous changes in my life. I’m learning that The Changing Me missed some key points and ended a few chapters early.

The pages inside revealed how I should expect to get taller and stronger. There was lots of information on growth, but not much on what I would have to let go – like childlike innocence, naiveté, bones that bent before breaking, smooth skin, clear voice, and more.

Growth in one area is accompanied by surrender in another. The book didn’t prepare me for that.

Lots more than physical differences came over the next few years. Things that had been icky became intriguing. It was like my brain had been rewired.  Body, mind, and spirit are intertwined. Each of them continues to evolve. Changes to one affect the others. The book definitely didn’t prepare me for that.