My Blessing

“Do you have a few minutes to talk?”

“Absolutely. Come in.” I told him.

Josh had been dating Erin for just over two years. In a close-knit family, he was a regular appearance at Sunday lunch or Friday’s at Chili’s. However, he never came alone and he certainly didn’t bring top-shelf whiskey.

He settled onto the couch while Kim and I took our places in our recliners. When he launched into his prepared speech, he quickly found that practicing a thing and doing it are two very different experiences.

He told us that he wanted to propose to Erin and that he would like to ask for our blessing. Then he paused.

I said nothing.

Josh then continued by giving us an overview of their time together. He told us that he loved her very much and that she made him happier than he had ever been before. He went into detail about why he believed the timing was right for this next step and how he had spent the last seasons preparing himself.

He made a good case, but I still didn’t say anything. When Kim later asked why I kept making him squirm, I told her that it wasn’t my job to make this easy for him.

I wasn’t trying to be mean, but he had come to ask my permission to take my place as the most important man in my daughter’s life. I have always been there for her and would do anything for my little girl. If he hoped for me to surrender that privilege to him, he would need to bring his very best, and I would not interrupt him.

At this point, he seemed to be at the end of his prepared statement and went off-script. When he did, the real emotion came out. You could see on his face and hear in his voice that he would do anything for this love of his life. He wanted desperately to make her happy and share forever with her.

Then he was finished.

It was my turn. “If you want my blessing, you need to make three promises to me. First, will you love God and love her all of your life.”

In words long and short, he said that he would.

“Second, will you protect and defend her at any cost to yourself?”

He assured Kim and I that he would.

“Third, will you provide for her and your family together, ensuring your basic needs are met, regardless of the difficulty?”

Again, he said that he would and I told him that he had my blessing. Kim agreed.

As the color returned to his face, he told us about his plan to propose to her on the beach in a couple of weeks and reviewed all of the details he had laid out. It was a good plan and we told him so.

We sealed the agreement with a toast and he went on his way, breathing much easier than when he had arrived.

From the pictures, you can tell that his plan was a great success. Our family is growing again, and he is a welcome addition. He will be the perfect husband for her.

As for me, I am suddenly staring at two engaged children. It’s all happened fast, and I may need another drink to settle down. It was a good gift choice from my new son.

Josh fulfilled his obligation to us by asking for our blessing and I promised it to him. After several days I realized that I hadn’t actually given it to him. I only told him that he had it. I believe in the power of the spoken word of a man of faith. I believe that the very spirit of God speaks through us and that his word is eternal.

Without any further hesitation, Josh, here is my blessing to you.

As the challenges of this life inevitably find you, your response will demonstrate to the world the depth of your love. Your marriage will strengthen your community as the Father’s blessings flow through you and into others’ lives as easily as water flows down a lazy river.

I am excited for the young couple, but the life change is looming large over me. I have to let go of my role as first responder and build up another man to take that role. May God guide me through that transition.

Kim and Erin have a wedding to plan.